Jane Chin - Latest Comments

Re: “Meter” [Flash Fiction, 487 Words]

Michael Thissell — Sat, 12 May 2012 20:21:20 -0000

Thank you. Always a pleasure to view life from a different perspective. Your insight helps me to be a better person.

Re: 9 Pillars of Personal Leadership

Evan — Tue, 28 Feb 2012 10:21:01 -0000

Excellent...

Re: The Battles Worth Picking and Fighting For

Jane Chin, Ph.D. — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 18:27:04 -0000

I like your medical bracelet metaphor.

I wonder if I were to wear my heart inside and carry a medical bracelet, will people be quicker to see that I wear a medical bracelet and wonder (without bothering to look inside) what was wrong with me. Some may not want to get close enough to peer at the markings on the bracelet, others may not be comfortable asking "what have you got?"

I have had many occasions where I'd kick myself after a situation: "Why did I lose my cool?" and "Why did I say that?"

One solution I've come up with, is to take the position that the other person does not mean me harm, and respond from that position. I'm not always right!

Re: The Battles Worth Picking and Fighting For

Joe — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 17:58:43 -0000

What I really needed right now is someone who reach out to me emotionally and then start a random walk through the periodic table, so thank you.

Of course, Thatcher said "To wear your heart on your sleeve isn't a very good plan, you should wear it inside, where it functions best." And when people hate her (as they frequently do) it's not for the words she actually said but rather what she did and what she represented, so maybe she was right on that particular point. Or maybe you can wear your heart on the inside, and outside you can wear a medical bracelet that describes how awesome your heart is, and if anyone has occasion to look inside you, they'll find out it's telling the truth (if you'll permit me to extend the metaphor).

Yes I've had a few beers again before browing your site :-)

Re: Enough

MightyCasey — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 17:36:33 -0000

This has much the same feel as my 2012 Manifesto post on MightyCasey.com - life really is more about being than doing. Good on ya, grrl =)

Re: Week 34 Journey and Destination

Kintyy — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 23:56:06 -0000

life is a creative experience, here you have made a tentative 'non creative' step - being non creative is creative - asking questions is creative too. good on you! :)

Re: Existential Ennui

Ele — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 18:31:21 -0000

I had heard about existential ennui, but hadn't found a really good definition of it.
Until now. Not only you made me really understand what does the expression mean, but I also know now how to call what I feel everyday.
Thank you for that. Even if I don't talk to anyone about it, it's nice to have a name for it.

Re: Week 21 – Taking Credit and Giving Credit with Integrity

Deborah — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 21:33:18 -0000

I agree totally with what you are saying. As someone who has been the subject of having credit for my work 'stolen', I have to say that a person is only as good as their integrity, honesty, ethics and morals. I feel shame for the person that has stolen credit from me and sadness for me as having known that person and wasted time with them when I could have been spending time with more valued people.

Re: How I Write

Kate Arms-Roberts — Thu, 29 Sep 2011 21:22:29 -0000

Thank you for this post Jane. I have 4 small kids at home, and this article inspired me to find a few more moments to write in my day. Every additional moment that I find is a treasure, so that you.

Kate

Re: Loss and Gain

Jane Chin, Ph.D. — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 22:51:26 -0000

Love inspires! Thank you Eiman.

Re: Loss and Gain

Eiman Abdelmoneim — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 17:28:46 -0000

I shared this poem on my blog (http://eimana.tumblr.com). As I said there, to think that such a deep connection (i.e. inspiring you to write poetry) could be made by the simple act of posting a reflection on my experience with my daughter's loss of hair in the "virtual world" of social media is something to take note of.

Thank you again.

Re: How I Write

Jane Chin, Ph.D. — Sun, 18 Sep 2011 11:43:36 -0000

Hi Melissa: You're right; there may be more "less than ideal" times to write than long stretches of writing time that we imagine writers should have. You definitely have your priorities straight.

Re: How I Write

melissaamateis — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 17:43:47 -0000

Oddly enough, I think I had more time to write when my daughter (who is now 11 years old) was a baby. She took nice, long naps. :-) Now, though, as she navigates middle school and mean girls and a growing fascination with boys, I feel like it's more important to spend time with her and connect, perhaps even more so than when she was a baby (though both are equally important). There are numerous times I will be writing and she'll come into my office and have a question, one that leads to a long discussion, and the writing must be put aside. I guess this is all to say that I don't think we, as parents, will have the luxury of having those perfect moments until the children are grown and out of the house. And now that I just typed that, I'm sad to even think of that day that seems to be approaching faster and faster every year.

Re: How I Write

Jane Chin, Ph.D. — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 14:51:59 -0000

Patrick, kudos for your MFA commitment. For the past couple of months I've kept my notebook by my bed and as soon as I wake up I write at least one page. This exercise at the very least has cleaned up my handwriting that has degenerated to the form of chicken scratches over years of heavy reliance on a keyboard. So far it has also given me an opportunity to write notes and thoughts, some of which have made their way into a longer personal essay.

Thank you for your comment!

Re: How I Write

Patrick Ross — Thu, 15 Sep 2011 17:39:27 -0000

My sincere admiration for your ability to shift creative gears and carve out those small moments. My kids are teenagers now, the issue is if they're ever around for me to see them, as opposed to them interrupting. But I find as I try to carve out time for my MFA, there are always distractions you have to work around.

As to your question of adapting, one thing I do is get up at dawn every morning and spend time that is ONLY for creative writing. My family is asleep. The email and social media stay unopened. I even ignore the newspaper, which is extremely difficult. It's just me, my computer, my coffee, and my muse.

Re: Existential Ennui

Jane Chin, Ph.D. — Mon, 12 Sep 2011 17:26:00 -0000

Dear Christine,

Thank you for commenting! Yes -- "...nothing, not even feelings, stay the same"... back when I was in graduate school and feeling drowned in the throes of graduate studies and clinical depression, my husband used to tell me to keep reminding myself, "this too, will pass."

I wonder why many of us have a hard time "sitting" with this feeling instead of trying to fix it or escape it or block it out.

Re: Existential Ennui

Christine — Mon, 12 Sep 2011 15:33:42 -0000

Dear Jane,
I very much resonate with your thoughts. I find my sense ennui increases when I am alone, and as I get older .I am 55, single, and do not have children. My parents have both died within the past 6 years. However whatever one's family or relatiinship staus , I think the senseof ennui can exist. I think that with most of us living longer this is a stae that will come and go. I have learned to 'sit with it'. The only thing I know for certain is that nothing , not even feelings, stay the same.

Re: Learning to be Human

Mick Say — Wed, 31 Aug 2011 13:15:57 -0000

Hi Jane

Wow what a thought provoking response, Certainly a lot to think about - Thank you - Mick

Re: Learning to be Human

Jane Chin, Ph.D. — Wed, 31 Aug 2011 12:18:57 -0000

Hi @micksay :

Your generosity is indicative of a giving nature, and that’s to be encouraged and affirmed. Here are some thinking points for you specific to your question. Possible reasons why people you help take your generosity for granted:

Because they don’t know you’re being generous
Because they happen to think they’re entitled to others’ resources
Because they figured they’re doing you a favor by receiving what you have offered to give
Because they have activated their helpless/dependence pathologies

My thoughts: Become conscious of why you’re generous, and then be responsible with your acts of generosity.

Are you doing this because you can’t say no? Then this is not true generosity, but more indicative of your inability to say no and establish boundaries for yourself. The “fix” is becoming more assertive (you can still be a wonderful person while saying “no” to people).

Are you doing this because you need to feel needed? Then this is not true generosity, but indicative of your satisfying a personal need to be depended upon by other people. Unfortunately, this tends to attract people who “take and take” because they also need people who “give and give”.

Are you doing this because you think this will make you more likeable/popular/perceived as a good person? Then this is not true generosity, but indicative of your desire to be approved by others and be affirmed by others.

One aspect you may also consider is whether your apparently generous behaviors may in fact, be cultivating negative, harmful behaviors in others, by training them to be reckless with people’s resources and to take acts of generosity for granted. In other words, if you find yourself “enabling” bad behaviors, then you aren’t being truly generous, you are enabling.

You may therefore want to ask with each act of your generosity, “Am I truly helping with my behavior or am I encouraging harmful behaviors in others by being generous in this instance?”

You may just find that sometimes, in order to be truly generous, you need to say “no” to helping them outright, and instead find ways of getting them to learn how to help themselves.

Re: Convention and Authenticity

Tamal Anwar — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 10:19:16 -0000

Cool, I stumbled it :D

Re: Convention and Authenticity

Just Jen — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 22:46:32 -0000

Absolutely beautiful!

This rings truer to me right now based on my current situation than anything.

Thank you for reminding me that toxic is toxic and that I am living my Ordinary life.